Timing is different for everyone

Married college students are just like any other students

Grace Benthin, Guest Writer

My husband and I have had many talks about marriage and our school life. But only recently did we talk about our fears in relation to our classmates. Would they judge us? Would we become labeled as “married” and thus become not an ideal friend? Would this create awkward moments in the classroom? I have many of these fears solely because of how our campus speaks on marriage and those who choose to get married young. 

Coming on campus this quarter has been a strange experience, from letting professors know that my last name has changed to awkward congratulations. I always smile and say thank you, but I also cringe on the basis that it is always more awkward after. It is shocking to some that I am married at only 20 years old, but I made the choice that was right for me. 

I, for one, do not think everyone should get married young, and that has never been my belief. But I feel because I am married many look at me and believe I perpetuate the ring before spring ideas. It does not help that I did, in fact, get a ring before spring. Being married is hard work, and not many college kids are ready for or want that. But I would like to say that getting married is not bad, and getting married in college should not make you an outcast.

Grace and her Husband during their wedding. (Courtesy of Grace Benthin)

My wedding was on Aug. 13, and I dedicated myself to spending the rest of my life with my partner. This was a huge decision that I did not take lightly, and I know for many, it is not something that they desire for themselves at the current time. I remember getting funny looks when I said that I wanted to get married as a part of my life plan and even hearing some ‘ring before spring’ comments. I was not desperate to get married, but it just felt like the right time. Why waste time waiting on something that you know you are going to do?  

I think this was a choice few would make, as we are young and there are many moving parts in our busy college life. I will say that I have not regretted it for a moment. I know many other married friends, although most are graduate students, that do not regret getting married. It is a choice that I live with, and you do not have to if you are not ready.  

I also want to tell everyone who reads this, please ask any question you have. I am happy to answer respectful questions and love when people want to know about my experience in getting married in college. My point is that I, and many other married students, are the same as you. We are young. We are growing as people. We still have a lot left to learn. I may have chosen a different path, but that does not mean I will not want to talk about yours. I love making friends, so feel free to reach out and start a conversation, and no, it does not have to be about getting married.