We listen to music during our commutes, workouts and events. It surrounds us whenever we are at restaurants, waiting rooms and lobbies. We tend to connect to the music that we listen to, which is why we all have our unique choices of what we listen to, from genres to artists to specific songs. We play music while we feel joy, sadness, motivation, laughter, excitement and even anger. It’s like music is a person who is always beside you.

Well, what if I told you that music is pretty much your own personal guardian in your life? Music can be like a friend, parent, mentor and therapist all together for you. I know it is for me. It has always been like this.

Growing up, I had to deal with narcissistic abuse from both of my parents and my great-grandmother. I’ve had to endure being put down and criticized constantly, plus being manipulated mentally and emotionally. Because of the abuse I’ve experienced, I had no one to go to emotionally that I could trust. I did have one person to go to — music.

At that time, I had the music of 2Pac, Biggie Smalls and Nas there for me. Their music became my parent figure.

2Pac’s music taught me about being resilient in life. In his song “Keep Ya Head Up,” he spoke some words that became general life advice for me: “If you fall, stand tall and come back for more.” That lyric taught me not to go down without a fight no matter what life throws at you. You don’t stay down, and you have to keep pushing through all of life’s struggles. Even if it does knock you down, those challenges help you to become strong and build your character. Those lyrics made me feel that I am a strong person and that I can persevere through life’s challenges, which I constantly remind myself of in hard moments.

In Nas’ song titled “I Can,” he rapped about youth, particularly ghetto children, and gave advice on how to be successful. As someone who grew up in low-income housing, I felt as if this song was personally speaking to me. In the song, Nas collaborated with a group of kids, and they echoed what he said. They said “I know I can, I know I can, be what I wanna be, be what I wanna be. If I work hard at it, If I work hard at it, I’ll be where I wanna be, I’ll be where I wanna be.” Those lyrics spoke to me about the limitless potential to achieve my dreams, regardless of societal titles. They conveyed that with dedication, I can reach the space I aspire to be in.

In Biggie Smalls’ famous song “Juicy,” he rapped about his rise to fame while coming from humble beginnings. The song gave me hope that I’ll have success and that I’ll look back to see my growth. In this song, the featured R&B group Total sang “You know very well who you are. Don’t let ‘me hold you down. Reach for the stars.” That song affirmed my self-identity and determination to chase success. It reminded me to ignore others’ opinions, recognize my potential, and believe that nothing can hold me back from achieving great things.

Even as I have grown up to be where I am, music has always stayed with me. As I got older, my taste in music has grown a lot. From being surrounded by Hip-Hop and R&B as a kid, country music has been really prominent in my current stage in life. The music of Darius Rucker, Tim McGraw and Kenny Chesney has given me a lot of wisdom to grow.

In Darius Rucker’s song “Learn to Live,” he sings about the advice that he received from his grandpa Campbell. The advice he gave that stuck out was, “You got to live to learn. You got to crash and burn. You got to take some stances and take some chances. You got to laugh and love and take all life has to give. You got to live to learn, so you can learn to live.”

When I heard those lyrics, it made me feel more confident just to live life and not overthink things. It really taught me that I just simply have to try things out so that I can learn how to live a better life. You have to sometimes fail in order for you to learn to live a greater life. You have to laugh at things in life and love those who are around you too. You just have to just live life and learn from all the bumps you will endure. These bumps will help you navigate how to move forward in your journey.

In one of Kenny Chesney’s hit songs “Don’t Blink,” he sang about the speed of life and how life goes by quickly. When he sang, “Cause your hourglass runs out of sand, you can’t flip it over and start again. Take every breath God gives you for what it’s worth,” it really struck and reminded me that I shouldn’t take life for granted. You can’t just start life all over, and you don’t get the time back. This helps remind me to live purposefully and to cherish each of life’s moments. Because these moments in life go away quickly and we can’t get them back, so we should be thankful for every second.

In one of Tim McGraw’s recent songs “Standing Room Only,” he sang about how we should try to live a meaningful life and to make an everlasting impression worth remembering. When McGraw sang, “Be somebody that is worth rememberin.’ Live a life, so when I die there is standing room only,” it reminded me to live purposefully, love people whenever I interact with them, and to make a positive impact on those that I am surrounded by. He also said in the song, “Stop judging my life by my possessions. Start thinking ‘bout how many headlights will be in my procession.” It reminds me that material things don’t hold value, but the people in my life do. It highlights my humanity and the importance of valuing relationships over material wealth.

I have had people come and go from my life, but one person that remained from then and now is music. Music has been supportive of me throughout my life. It has filled me with so much wisdom and has helped me grow into who I am today. Music has been my constant person through my ups and downs, and it can be that person for you too.