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Each dark and stormy October night, I gobble up every horror film I can find, but, like a werewolf waking up, I often regret what I did the night before. Though it can be extremely fun to cower in fear, an overindulgence in gruesome imagery can cause someone genuine mental anguish.
After a recent marathon of the Saw movies, the nihilistic tone and constant human suffering really made me feel off for days. In their rush to create the most shocking, deranged films possible, modern studios often craft the meanest, most cynical films — as they often get the most people in seats.
It doesn’t always have to be that way. Each of the following films contain so much style and good humor that you can’t help but smile through the screams. That doesn’t mean the movies are sanitized or devoid of scares — they just seek to give the audience a good time rather than trying to make them vomit or panic.
The list is arranged from most tame to the truly depraved, but you can’t go wrong with any pick.
#1 For the Musical Man: “Phantom of the Paradise” (1974)
This 1974 film by Brian DePalma is a modern adaptation of the “Phantom of the Opera” set inside a rock club.
Winslowe Leach, a struggling songwriter, seeks out the mysterious record producer Swan in order to show him his 500 page musical masterpiece, based on Goethe’s “Faust.” Swan steals the song and gives it to another band, causing Winslowe to explode with fury. Leach soon dons a very stylish mask, terrorizing all who dare play at Swan’s club.
The film combines playful, spooky imagery with witty parodies of some of the most predominant musical genres of the early 70s, including goth rock, surf music and ballads.
#2 For the Child-at-Heart: “Hausu” (1977)
This whimsical Japanese horror film is written in collaboration between director Nobuhiko Obayashi and his seven year old daughter — an aspect of the work that shines through in every wacky moment.
The movie follows a schoolgirl named Gorgeous and her friends Prof, Melody, Mac, Fantasy and Kung Fu as they travel to her mysterious aunt’s mansion in the countryside. Each girl is defined by their name, often with a death inspired by their defining trait.
There’s an evil cat, people get attacked by flying pillows and anatomical skeletons dance — it’s really got it all. Check this one out if you are looking for something that’s just as silly as it is spooky.
#3 For the Impatient and the Involved: “Creepshow” (1982)
This collaboration between horror special effects virtuoso Tom Savini and Steven King is perfect for those who do not have the time to watch a full film, or get bored sitting for an hour and a half.
The movie contains six individual stories, each more exciting, horrifying and fun than the last. The best include: “The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verill,” in which Steven King plays a campy country bumpkin who discovers a mysterious meteor, and “Something to Tide You Over,” a short film where Ted Danson is buried neck deep on a beach with the tide soon approaching.
The film is inspired by horror comic books, including heavily stylized scares and an expressive, surreal visual style.
#4 For the Superhero Super-fan: “The Toxic Avenger” (1984)
This fantastic film by low-budget schlock horror legend Lloyd Kauffman is perfect for those who would like a horrifically funny look at the superhero genre.
The movie follows Melvin, a sputtering, nerdy janitor who works at a gym. Evil meatheads terrorize and chase Melvin, causing him to accidentally fall into a bucket of radioactive waste, turning him into a large tumor of a man called “The Toxic Avenger.” Now, Melvin must stop the jocks from hurting others — a pressing issue because their favorite game involves drinking and hitting children with their station wagon.
The film manages to blend comedy, action and the horrific toxic monster in order to create spectacular work like no other. The movie has a reboot slated to release early 2024.
#5: For the Fairytale Fanatic: “Suspiria” (1977)
This Italian horror classic by Dario Argento infuses traditional fairy tales with vibrant, dreamlike, almost psychedelic visuals in order to create one of the most entertaining and frightening films ever made.
The movie follows Suzy, a young woman who moves to a quiet German town in order to study at one of the most prestigious dance schools in the world. As soon as she arrives, things begin to go awry, with unexplained circumstances causing the disappearances of several students. The remaining students soon begin to suspect something supernatural, causing a frantic witch hunt to find who, or what, the perpetrator is.
The movie stars the wonderful Jessica Harper, who is also featured in “Phantom of the Paradise,” and is considered one of the finest Italian films ever made in English. The movie is playful and colorful without ever truly going off the edge towards campiness, sure to deliver frights and a fear of black gloves.
Each of these films are spooky, sweet treats to gobble up this Halloween — and these ones won’t make you feel sick!